Starting it with an ending.

I am starting 2012 with an ending.


I told myself that this year, I'm going to be brave. The decision to leave my current job was a tough one. It was like breaking up with someone. It left me sleepless and uneasy. It made me sad and scared. Deciding about it was actually not the issue. The hard part in all of the chaos was breaking the news to my Maverick family. It involved a lot of crying and ruined eyeliner but they have been supportive and that alone was enough to finally let go.  


Just like any girl recovering from a failed relationship, I will be seeking comfort from people who I think will help me get through the "healing" process. My parents. Yes, I have decided to go home. Back to that place with more power interruptions than a war-stricken country. No malls. No fastfood joints. No cinemas. No bookstores. Why return to that boring province with more trees than people, you ask? Well let me tell you this: Manila can suck my province's arse anytime. 


But seriously, I think I need a breather. I want to hang out with my parents. Bug and annoy them just like when I was a kid. Eat breakfast with them again. Go to the bukid with them. Hear about the latest town tsismis and ultimately have a neat and simple life again. For how long, that I don't know. 


Believe it or not, I plan to live healthily, too. YEP. You read that right. Good thing the 'rents are into no meat policy. They only eat vegetables and the occasional fish but that's just about it. I wanna try yoga, too. Am I using the word "too" too much? Okay never mind. (FYI, Ate Xandee downloaded some yoga tutorial stuff and yoga music because she wants to do yoga too. She got inspired, I guess)


I am also planning to enroll myself to a baking class this summer. The government is giving free lessons via TESDA so why the hell not?! I just hope we reach the required number of students. Hello friends in the province. Wanna go to baking class with me? :)


Another thing that excites me about going home is the fact that I'll be able to hang out with my two best friends whenever I want to! Valerie is expecting a baby and I can't wait to do pregnant yoga with her. And both Tiffany and Val are up for some baking action I just hope Ate Sharon will lend us her oven. We plan to have weekend picnics as well. I'll convince the girls to go and have a photo shoot with me. It'll be interesting. Okay I wanna go home now.


Apparently it wasn't a bad breakup after all. Of course my almost three-year roller coaster ride with Maverick will stay with me forever but hey, they already made one of my dreams come true, I guess it's time to make new ones and try hard to achieve them. 


To tell you the truth, I don't really know how to break up with someone/something because I have always been #foreveralone. And I don't know how it feels like to ride a roller coaster because I don't ride that shit.


And when the time comes that my parents are kicking me out of the house for being such a freeloading pain in the ass, I will definitely blog about it. Don't worry, you will all be informed.

I have a shiny new jar.

Every new year is a special event. It's like getting an empty jar that you have to fill with new memories, laughter, tears, and all the other things that come in between. But filling up this jar is no easy task. You have to work hard for it, careful not to spill whatever you have already put in. I have read somewhere that this 2012, people should start living like the world is truly ending. Dare to do, say, pursue, and ditch things. Leave the regrets for later.


So for this year, I won't write a resolution. Instead, I will list down the treasures that I want to put inside my shiny new jar.

1. Few pieces of coins. I'm starting to save up this year. I think it's about time I stop wasting money on unimportant stuff. 
2. Sprinkles of sand and sunshine. I want to beach hunt more this year. Visayas area please. Beaches!!!
3. A pouch of laughter. Laughing keeps people young. I wanna laugh more this year. 2012's only rule: The louder the laugh, the better.
4. Threads and buttons. The hunt for good-fitting clothes will start this year. 
5. A trickle of sweat. Disgusting right? No. I want to start exercising this year. GOD I'M SERIOUS.
6. Tight little hugs. Everyone wants to be hugged right? More hugs this year!
7. A vial of adrenaline. I have always wanted to bungee jump. I will try to bungee jump this year. Or something crazier. Something that will make my heart pound faster and make me shit scared.
8. A shot of vodka. Will make it a point to connect with old and long-lost friends.Over alcohol, of course! Cheers!
9. Drops of tears. This is gonna be a great year, I can feel it. If ever I'm going to shed some, I'll make sure it's out of happiness.
10. Dusts of make-up. It's the year to be girly and to be a bit more feminine. Less cussing please. Lol I can do this.
11. Torn concert tickets. I promise to attend a concert this year. Alone or with someone, I will watch and sing my lungs out.

These are the stuff that I can think of right now. Will probably update this but I don't really want to over promise anything. I don't want my jar to overflow. 

PS. It's time to fill your jar too. 

2011

This is my attempt to sum up the amazing/crazy year that will leave us in a few hours. 2011 has been a year of concert songs, epic books, unforgettable encounters and endless roads. I did a little traveling, met interesting people and became a sucker for a lot of stuff. 

I went to a couple of destinations this year. It started with a trip to Pangasinan followed by a trip to La Union. Visited Quezon three times --two beach trips and the Pahiyas. I promised myself that I will go somewhere every month. It didn't happen. When the second half of the year came, the lazy bug got me and kept me at home. Went to Cebu last October though. I love going to places. If I have gazillions of moolah, I'll travel around the world .

Watched two major concerts this year. Deftones in February and Incubus last July. Held Chino Moreno's hand. Screamed so hard I was sick the next day. Kissed and hugged Brandon Boyd. FUCKING AMAZING. I think I became friends with karma this year. They say karma's a bitch. Well this bitch got my back. Unbelievable. Unfuckingbelievable.

Celebrations. Two of my college best friends gave birth. MC has Max now and Melo has Venice. I missed both christenings. I am the worst godmother ever. Lace got married too. Missed the wedding. I am the worst friend ever.

I turned 23 last August. I felt free not old.

Started obsessing over Game of Thrones, Big Bang Theory and Fringe.

In 2011, I became a little bit fearless. Completed that Cebu's Skywalk Extreme and watched a concert alone for the first time. I was alone but I enjoyed it.

In a couple of hours, I'm going to welcome 2012 by myself. Well not exactly because I have my cat with me. For the past 22 years, I have been celebrating New Year with my family. This will be the first time that I will greet another chapter of my life without them by my side. It's new. It's brave. And I'm going to make the most out of it. 

Embracing the coming year with more love, more positive energy and more passion. Cheers 2012!!!


THANK YOU 2011. IT WAS MAGICAL.

Pangasinan

La Union

Cebu

Quezon

Lola Nessie and Lolo Nardo's 50th Anniversary

Quezon with Mavericks

Cagbalete, Quezon

Deftones Live in Manila

Wedding in Laguna

March 2011

May 2011

Cebu with my best friends.

There's a concert inside my head.

I'm a big music fan. Although I have this not-so-unusual propensity to rock music, I also enjoy listening to other genres and discovering new bands. Back in college, I used to rely on Imeem, Purevolume and MySpace for new stuff. During those times, I was already listening to CSS and NYPC and Architecture in Helsinki and it's a shame that they're only getting credit now. Sad that those three websites have met their fate, death (I think). Yeah, even the Internet grows up. And life continues to suck. 


Being the big music fan that I am, I often wonder how other people rate their most favorite songs. With various websites coming up with the "best of 2011" or bloggers with "the best fucking songs in the entire universe". I mean there are bajillions of awesome songs out there and bajillions of more songs to be written. How do you freakin' pick the big "Top 10"?


Yes, I have a "karaoke list", those cheesy songs I sing when I wanna belt it all out. There are also those I listen to when I'm happy, sad, giddy, angry, etc. I can't count how many songs have, for lack of a better term, changed/affected my life. A lot, I guess.


Life has its phases and for me, each phase has a particular song, heck, even a particular smell. 2011 has been a Deftones and Incubus concert in my head. Full of Sextape and Royal and Promises Promises and The Original. Probably because I've seen both bands this year. Both events were intensely memorable too.

The best photo I took during their concert here.

During Saturday nights like this, I like listening to Deftones. I don't know, there's comfort in Chino Moreno's voice. On weekday mornings, I shuffle my iPod like crazy. Skipping from song to song, desperately finding that particular track that will lighten the mood, make the weather finer or the traffic less annoying. Metric's Stadium Love is that song. It's the same process when I'm on my way home. Skip. Skip. Listen a little bit. Skip. I won't make a good DJ.


When I feel like partying inside my head, I listen to Andrew WK's Party Hard. When I'm pissed, I listen to Rage Against the Machine, full blast. When I'm sad, I don't listen to music.


When I think of summer and the beach, listening to Weezer's Island In The Sun (yes dammit it's such a cliche) does the trick. When I want to zone out, I listen to School of Seven Bells. When I wanna feel kilig, I listen to Super Furry Animals' Hello Sunshine because it reminds me of Seth Cohen/Adam Brody. Imagine saying hello to sunshine with that dude by your side. Pregnant.


When I'm feeling particularly girly, I listen to She & Him's In The Sun. When I'm feeling funky, I listen to Pedicab. When I'm feeling weird, I listen to Mew. When I'm feeling beautiful, I listen to fucking Suede. When I wanna feel like a real badass, I listen to Lamb of God. When I feel like being an indie kid, I listen to The Vaccines or The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart. When I'm feeling vintage I listen to The Smiths. And when I want to feel really really good, I listen to The Police.


So many songs and musicians. So many feelings. I can't choose a top 10 or 20 or 100. There's a song for every moment. There's a soundtrack for every event. And the events that you remember, shitty or great, they become your favorite along with the songs that softly play in the background.

Cebu 2011

Almost forgot to post about this. Heeh. I went to Cebu with my two best friends, Valerie and Tiffany, together with Francis, Val's boyfriend, and the mother-son tandem of Ate Sha and Lee last October. It was kinda unplanned but the trip turned out to be unforgettable.We only spent two days there. Yes, too little time to do anything but we managed to squeeze in lots of activities.

Proof that we had fun:

On daydreaming.

I daydream a lot. Maybe because I'm lazy. Lazy people daydream a lot. I like imagining myself working somewhere far or lounging somewhere sunny and cool. Is it because I live a boring life? Maybe. On ordinary days, I wake up early, take a hot bath, rummage my closet for clothes, dry my hair, and ride public transport where I rudely peek at other people's mp3 players. I judge people by the music they listen to. After getting in the office, I check my email first and read online articles for about an hour or depends on how the world got more interesting in a span of one night. After finishing what I have to do for the day, I quietly zone out and start thinking of ways on how I WANT to live my life.


I imagine myself to be a travel writer, hopping from country to country, meeting various people and learning different cultures. I want to write about how truly beautiful the chateaus in France are, how handsome the men in Spain are or how magical the Greek islands are. A bit romantic, yes?


I like to think myself as a waitress in a quaint cafe in New York, serving busy businessmen, old couples, artists and even controversial celebrities. I will pour them coffee and serve them their favorite bagel. I will quietly listen to their stories, feel sorry for them or happy for them, depends on their story, really. I will be friends with the kitchen crew and drink vodka with them when the weather becomes too cold.


Obviously, I think and imagine a lot. It's actually healthy.


My mantra in life is this: Thoughts become things. If you imagine it hard, it can come true.

Meeeyn.

I may not be a hardcore chick, kikay stuff and all but I love crushing on dudes. Back when I was younger, I have a weekly crush, usually a school mate or some random dude I saw at some random place. I can go as far as stalking the said person, asking friends' friends for info because back then, Mark Zuckerberg was still working on his brainchild now called Facebook.

I remember crushing on this gasoline boy. Yes, really cute.

My biggest crushes are Hollywood stars and celebrities -- yes, people I won't ever meet. *cough* Brandon Boyd *cough* oh yeah I met him but no, he's not really "Hollywood". Heeh.

Here's a list of people I that I think I will marry someday. Lols.

George Clooney - I've been in love with this man since I was a kid, even my mother knows it. I don't know where I first saw him but I think he is my first celebrity crush. I'm gonna marry this man someday.

Al Pacino - There's something about this old guy that makes me attracted to him. I was in college when I saw his Godfather films and I was smitten. He's a small  guy with a serious knack at acting. He also starred in probably three of the greatest films ever. Tell me, who could freakin beat that?

Brandon Boyd - Beat my adoration for Al Pacino? This guy beats every single man in the world. Ahhh where do I start? I promised myself that I won't clutter this blog with Brandon Boyd stuff. Uhm, yeah. I love this guy so much. So so much.

So much.

So much. Okay, sorry.

Caleb Followill - This guy has serious singing talent and a very pretty face. Ugh the mess and scruff. Southern and gruff and hot. Caleb Followill is married to a Victoria's Secret angel. Brb, crying.

Oguri Shun - This Japanese demi-god is so cute plus his smile is such a killer. Saw him in the action film Azumi. He's the sole reason why I watched the Jap series Hana Yori Dango. Okay, I admit, the story was cute, too.

Noel Gallagher - Yes, he's a dick but who cares, he's cute. Besides, I'm not listing the nicest dudes I know. I'm enumerating the dudes who I think are the uhm sex.  He may be a bastard wrapped in a really nice packaging but he's also talented and has a Brit accent. I'm not much of a good boy chaser as well hence the Gallagher pick. So there.

I can't believe Noel got my longest description.

Anderson Cooper - Ooh Silverfox. He's smart and came from a prominent family (the  Vanderbilts). No, the gay issue won't stop me.

Max Hodges - If you're not a fan of Hollywood gossip and TMZ, then you're probably not familiar with this guy. He's that cute blond surfer dude Harvey Levin and the rest of the reporters often make fun of. I had to Google "TMZ surfer dude" because I didn't know his name. Heh.

No obscure musician or artist here. Bunch of phonies and pussies. 

This entry is brimming with kababawan. Sue me.